I must apologise...

I have not posted anything since last week for a reason. Mainly, that every time I tried, for some reason the software I use kept 'disappearing' my hard work, just as I was about to publish it - so I had to go away and calm down a bit before trying again!

My intention, on Monday, was to tell you that Aidan had safely arrived home from his skiing trip in France - and that it would appear that he did not pick up COVID-19 while he was there!

However, he works in the city and commutes by train, so my poor unhealthy body has become even more of a topic of conversation in our home than ususal. He is worried he'll bring something home, and I am concerned he will too! That said, it would appear that I am, for once, ahead of the curve! An article showed up on Twitter this week, all about Quercetin and it's potential benefits.

I have been taking quercetin for years, it is one of the few things that seems to help my MCAS, and my hEDS, so I now have Aidan taking it too - and am praying that my hyperactive immune system will fight this thing as hard as it does everything else - but preferably without making me feel too shit while it does so (if I get it, and I am praying I don't!)

The need for self-isolation to try and prevent the spread also means that my current tendency towards rarely leaving the house may well work in my favour too. Self-isolation is not easy. People with chronic illness are used to it - but it isn't something any of us would wish for (even those of us who are introverted, or with ASD etc.) I do hope though that healthy folk having to self-isolate might remember how hard they find it, for just 14 days, and consider that there are so many of us living that life every single day. Remember us once you are well and back living your life and help us to fight for better care, better access to benefits, and support.

The problem with self-isolation right now though, is that it is making our planned viewing trip to France look a little bit unlikely. I am praying we will still get to go, but though I long to live in France I don't want to get trapped there right now!

Part of me wants to stay tucked up at home, never setting foot near another human - for fear of catching this (as well as the hEDS, the MCAS and the dysautonomia I also have asthma and eczema so am in the at risk group if I do pick up the virus). But then there is the part of me that feels that considering so little testing is actually being done and so many people are asymptomatic, that I could easily bump into someone and catch it just nipping to Aldi across the road - I may as well catch it in France as here!

If I must be careful (and I really must) then I will have to hold onto the memories of the few occasions I have left the house to do nice things in the past few years. This weekend was actually one of those things. I was having a good day, Aidan was back home, and our friend, Andy, who runs a seli-professional cycling team was racing locally.

The Jock Wadley Memorial Race is always a good morning out. It takes place in Essex, with about 80 lycra-clad chaps racing in a loop around Abberton Resevoir.

The link above gives you access to a much better race summary than I could ever give - but I can attest to the fact that this year's race was as hard fought and as exciting as it always is.

The wind and a nasty crash caused the field to break into a number of groups on the road - our friend, Andy, who you can see just out the front of the field in the picture, was in the group behind the leaders. He actually rides for a different team to the one he manages, as they are all under 23, and he is still racing at the grand age of 50 - putting many of the youngsters to shame! He had an excellent race, coming 14th in an excellent field - and one of the lads from his team, the amazing RichardsonsTrek, was pipped at the line for first place. It was a good day for the #boysinorange and especially for our #boyinfluorescentgreen!

Wind-battered and exhausted, Aidan took me home and tucked me up under a blanket so I could spend much of the afternoon napping. It is so frustrating that any event or activity, however big or small will often mean I have to do this. And it isn't just the physical stuff that leaves me wiped out, but the mental stuff too - hence my not coming back to try and get this post finished and published when things went wrong, as that left me shattered, too. People underestimate just how easy it is for us #spoonies to deplete our energy stores - and it can take us an age to restore them to something even vaguely resembling normal (and that is our normal - not the average person's normal!)

But, it was worth it. I got to see Andy ride an incredible race, and spend some time with Aidan after his week away, and to feel alive and normal - even if it was just for a few hours. I will need to hang on to the memories of it, and our trips to France and other places, as this dreaded virus wreaks it's merry way through the population and I keep myself tucked away from people as much as I possibly can.